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Would You Like Scott Brown To Be Your BoyToy

January 21st, 2010 by GiGi

scottbrown2.jpgNow you may not consider newly elected Senator Scott Brown a boy toy, but based on how sexy he is today and was in 1982 when he posed for Cosmo Magazine semi-nude, I’d say the Senate could use a few more sexy men and they’d all have my vote.

Senator Brown’s record win in Massachusetts this week, the U.S. Senate now has one of America’s Sexiest Men waiting in the wings to take his Senate seat. Scott Brown had the dubious honor of winning Cosmo Magazine’s “America’s Sexiest Man” based on a the June 1982 issue of Cosmo where he posed semi-nude for the cameras when he was a 22-year-old law student at Boston College.

I wonder if we could get him to strip down for the cameras now that’s his one of the rising stars of the GOP?

scottbrown375.jpg

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Posted in Boy-Toys, What The Hell?

Where Are Your Crotchless Panties

September 27th, 2009 by GiGi

You ladies may like to keep warm in the winter and love the comfort but are those ugly cotton “granny” panties really necessary.  What has happened to your crotchless panties and thongs?

I found this great article……..

Just when did you stop trying to impress your partner?  It seems inevitable in most relationships:  The longer you’ve been together, the bigger the panties get.

Early on, you may not wear any.  For some reason, men find this incredibly sexy.  Perhaps it’s their genetic laziness – the same gene that causes them to watch an infomercial after the game because they don’t know where the remote is and they sure as hell aren’t getting up to look for it.  The idea of reaching up your skirt and finding nothing standing between them and your sweet spot drives them insane.

After a short time, you spice it up with a sexy thong.  This turns him on, too.  Again… genetics.  Men are hunters, and he needs to explore your “nethers” finding where that little strip of material disappeared to.  We, as women, need to encourage this!  Thongs, g-strings, crotchless panties… They all do the trick to get your man to hunt and gather.

Then, a little more material comes into the picture and you start wearing teddies, babydolls, and camis.  This works wonders in the world of male genetics because men have always been fascinated with uncovering treasures.  Boys love “diggers”… bulldozers and the like.  Granted, probably not the gentlest of methods, but what do we care?  Rip those clothes off, baby!  They see something they like, know there’s something more to love underneath, and suddenly they’re on a mission to uncover the secrets of your world.

The step women take after this puzzles me.  At some point, women start buying these enormous cotton granny panties.  I hear excuse after excuse about how they’re “comfortable” or how there’s no reason to “bother” with thongs and such anymore.  WHAT???  Let’s think logically here.  ALL panties are gonna migrate up your ass at some point during the day, agreed?  That comfort stuff you spew is bullshit.  I’d much rather have a half-inch of fabric intentionally there than to be ducking around a corner to wiggle five inches worth of material out of my ass.

As for male genetics and granny panties?  We know men are lazy.  We’ve established that’s why minimal clothing is ideal.  While that excites them, granny panties have the opposite effect.  That much fabric reminds them of a blanket and they want nothing more than to roll over and go to sleep.

So use his genetics to your advantage.  Encourage him to explore and remind him there is one hell of a treasure to be unearthed!!!

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Posted in Articles, Laugh Zone, What The Hell?

Older Women And Their Responsibilities To Their Man

December 18th, 2008 by GiGi

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Joe. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Bev. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Bev to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.  I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves.  I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take ‘em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.  I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.  She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.  I try not to make a scene.  I’m a fair man.  I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.  And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bev. I’m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.  Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!  Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.  However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,

Joe

*EDITOR’S NOTE*

Joe died suddenly on January 27th of a perforated rectum.  The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.

His wife Bev was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Joe somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

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Posted in Articles, Laugh Zone, What The Hell?

18 Valuable Life Altering Facts You Need To Know

November 8th, 2008 by GiGi

There are some thingns in this life that can literally shake your world. I came up with these funny facts we all need to know….

  • If you yelled for 8 years, 7  months and 6 days you would have  produced enough sound energy to
    heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)
  • If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas  is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that’s more like it!) 
  • The human heart creates enough  pressure when it pumps out to  the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (O.M.G.!) 
  • A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) 
  • A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
    (Creepy, but I’m still not over the pig) 
  • Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
    (Don’t try this at home,maybe at work) 
  • The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
    (”Honey, I’m home. What  the..?!”) 
  • The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
    (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can  you imagine?) 
  • The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) 
  • Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (I still want to be a pig in my next life..quality over quantity) 
  • Butterflies taste with their feet
    (Something I always wanted to know.) 
  • The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    (Hmmmmmm….) 
  • Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
    (If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) 
  • Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (okay, so that would be a good thing) 
  • A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) 
  • An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
    ( Sounds like my ex-husband.) 
  • Starfish have no brains
    (Ditto - ex-husband and a few people I know.) 
  • Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer) 
  • Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??) 
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Posted in Articles, Did You Know?, Laugh Zone, What The Hell?

I’m Looking For A Gigilo In Turkey

October 1st, 2008 by GiGi

americangigilo.jpgWhat woman hasn’t fantasized about being in a foreign country and meeting a handsome local who’ll sweep her off her feet.

I have spent countless thousands cruising, touring and vacationing in all corners of the globe with little or not luck in in this area. Finding a gigilo while travelling just isn’t what it used to be!

I didn’t know I was looking in all the wrong places. I’ve just discovered that I should have been visiting Turkey! A Turkish holiday resort hotel has sacked its entire male staff over their affairs and seductions with female guests.

Manager Pelin Yucel was quoted as saying: “It got beyond a joke. The last straw was when I caught my bartender coming out of a toilet with a woman guest.

“She was embarrassed but he was beaming all over his face.”

The 27-bedroom Image Hotel in Marmaris, where most of the guests are British or Russian, now employs only female staff.

Pelin added that she could rarely reach her night porter because “he was always in bed with one of the customers.

“The waiters would prey on older English women staying at the hotel. They would wait for them to come back from nights out — often drunk — then seduce them.

“They would have one guest one week, wave goodbye to her, and eye up the new guests as they arrived. It was hell.”

It’s a hell I’d have like to spent a week at!

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Posted in Boy-Toys, Did You Know?, What The Hell?

Is Julie Christie Eccentric And Weird

May 21st, 2008 by GiGi

juliechristie7.JPGI’d guess that the majority of Hollywood stars, especially ones who have won an Academy Award would be shocked if they were to visit reclusive Julie Christie’s home in Powys, Wales, or for that matter her simple “room” in London’s east end where she gets about town by bus.

The British actress, nominated for an Oscar in 2008 for her role as a woman with Alzheimer’s disease, keeps out of the usual celebrity circus, having always preferred to do things her way.

Her sheep breeding home in Wales, which she has owned since the 1970’s, with it’s corrugated roof and ramshackle doors, is a far cry from the extravagance and decadent lifestyle of Hollywood.

On a visit to her farm in an attempt persuade Julie to do a reprise of their famous movie, Don’t Look Now, Donald Sutherland was so cold he slept in his overcoat., and he came away amazed at finding a yard filled with chickens, ducks and cats.

The main problem, as far as Sutherland was concerned, was not the absence of toilet paper - Julie rips up newspapers for use instead - didn’t put him off, it was the lack of central heating. Julie wore heavy sweaters and huddled next to the Aga for warmth, then went to bed as soon as night fell to avoid the diving temperature.juliechristiehomewales.jpg

Donald high-tailed it back into town after just one night: “It was so cold in that house that I had to sleep in all my clothes including my overcoat, and I still wasn’t warm.”

Julie rents out her farm in Powys, Wales, and stays instead in one of the barns on her land, adapted into a home. “I always hang my washing up outside, or even on a pulley thing,” she volunteers. “It is a complete waste of energy to use dryers.”

No dryers and using torn up newspaper for toilet paper - this is going too far. She may be one of favorite mature women, but it sounds like the rumors of her being eccentric and reclusive to the point of being weird just might be true!

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Posted in Julie Christie, Laugh Zone, What The Hell?

Anne Heche Fairy Tale Romance

May 16th, 2008 by GiGi

Anne Heche reportedly said of her marriage to cameraman, Coleman Laffon whom she married in 2001. “I have a blessed situation in my life, my husband is a stay-at-home dad. We chose to have a baby and chose to be together as a family. “Coley and my son Homer, go with me everywhere; that’s why I wanted to do a TV Show. I wanted to give my family a stable life and give them an opportunity to build a life, although mommy is an actress.”

So much for that bullshit!

annehechejamestupper.jpgAnne and her Men In Treesco-star and forever soul mate Canadian born[/tag]James Tupper[/tag], dumped their respective spouses for each other. Now that the series is history, what will happen to their fairy tale romance?

Anne’s finances it seems have taken a nose dive since the cancellation of the show and she apparently now can’t afford to support her stay at home hubby.

Who the hell would name their child Homer? Of course who the hell would marry someone with a name like Coleman Laffon?

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Posted in Anne Heche, What The Hell?

Boy-Toys Speed Dating Event To Catch A Sugar Mama

May 14th, 2008 by GiGi
Boy-Toys Speed Dating Event To Catch A Sugar Mama

Why would 5,000 hunky American men want to attend a speed dating event featuring women over 35? Duh!

The ladies who attended the speed dating event in New York needed to prove they had over 4 million in assets and earned over $500,000 per year. The ladies were on the prowl for boy-toys.

Of the 5,000 potential boytoys, only 20 were selected.
Catch the video…..

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Posted in Boy-Toys, Cougar Relationships, Did You Know?, Old Babes In The News, Older Woman/Younger Man, Videos, What The Hell?

Mature Bride From Hell

May 9th, 2008 by GiGi

uglydog.jpgI always like to think of brides as demure, radiant beings who, for the most important day of her life will shine above all others gathered to celebrate her wedding. For a brief moment in time she epitomizes womanhood and carries with her the hope for the future.

So much for that bull!

It seems a rather “mature bride out of Port Chester, New York has just spent that last 6 days in the county lock up after a dispute at her wedding reception.

Both the bride and groom were arrested at their wedding reception and charged with disorderly conduct after the bride trashed a set of conga drums in a spat with the band. It seems our little bride wasn’t happy with the music. She was also accused of breaking one of the band’s speakers and was ordered to pay $1500 in restitution for the damage. Our 41 year old mature bride pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and was sentenced to the six days she’s already spent in the slammer.

She probably needed the 6 days R&R to recover the effect of the stun guns that were used on she and her bridegroom during their wedding fracas.

God help her husband if she’s not happy with his performance!

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Posted in Catfights, Old Babes In The News, What The Hell?

Babushka Misses Her Chance For A Boy Toy

May 2nd, 2008 by GiGi
Babushka Misses Her Chance For A Boy Toy

The old babe in this video misses her chance for a dream boy toy. Not only is he hot, he drives a Mercedes (which qualifies him as a stud even if he looks like Danny DeVito).

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Posted in Boy-Toys, Laugh Zone, Old Babes In The News, Still Going Strong, Videos, What The Hell?

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