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Cougar Games - Can You Tell If She’s A Cougar

June 30th, 2008 by GiGi

What do we know about cougars? First they’re older, second they’re always looking to catch a little tail with a younger man. Can you tell the difference between a celebrity who’s a cougar and one who’s not?

The question is - Can you tell the difference between a celebrity that’s a cougar and one who’s not?


Check out this cute little cougar game and see if you can tell the difference….

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Posted in Celebrity Cougars, Laugh Zone, Over 40, Videos

Can I Smack Martha Stewart

June 21st, 2008 by GiGi
martha stewart toolshed
This is the toolshed I completed with Martha's instructions!
I’ve always dreamed about giving Martha Stewart a good smack. It’s not that I have anything against someone who does everything perfectly and I certainly could use some one to organize my sad tacky little life, it’s just that she appears so smug and all knowing about everything.I like to think I have a decent sense of humor, but by the time I finish writing this stupid little piece, Martha will have built a tool shed in her back yard and taken her dogs roller blading with her while she picks blueberries.

These are some of the reasons why I hate Martha Stewart:

  • she doesn’t order take out pizza and has ordered it only once.
  • she doesn’t own a microwave
  • she obviously owns too many gardening tools
  • she makes her own Christmas gifts -”Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone” (What happened to picking up a little something at WalMart?)
  • she says her most glamorous friends are “interested in stain removal, how
    to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel
    .” (My friends are interested in the corns on their feet, how to do away with the iron and finding a towel that’s not stained with hair dye.)
  • she lets the world think she’s America’s No. 1 WASP (She’s actually Catholic and Polish)
  • Martha attendedGoogle’s National Sales Conference recently and proceeded to have founders, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, to help her make a batch of Cherry Mojitos. (Is business down for Google that they need to bring in the Queen of Domesticity to entertain their troops?)
  • she was named one of America’s 25 most influential people by Time magazine. (The quality of the list is in question since they once named Rosie O’Donnell)

As the great one once said herself:

You know, in China they say, ‘The thinner the chopsticks, the higher the social status.’ Of course, I got the thinnest I could find…..that’s why people hate me.

On second thought rather than slap her across her snooty little face, I’d like to give her a kick in the ass.

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Posted in Laugh Zone, Martha Stewart, Rosie O'Donnell

A Letter From Martha Stewart

May 22nd, 2008 by GiGi

A little humor about our beloved Martha Stewart - one of the babes we love to hate….

Monday, 9:00 a.m.

Hi Loretta,

This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.

By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I’m serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: I didn’t have time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle moulds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian craft store.

Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I’m wearing for breakfast. I’ll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I’ll be making. Hope my breakfast guests don’t stay too long — I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It’s a good thing.

Love,

Martha Stewart

P. S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold guaze. I soaked the guaze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.

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Posted in Laugh Zone, Martha Stewart

Is Julie Christie Eccentric And Weird

May 21st, 2008 by GiGi

juliechristie7.JPGI’d guess that the majority of Hollywood stars, especially ones who have won an Academy Award would be shocked if they were to visit reclusive Julie Christie’s home in Powys, Wales, or for that matter her simple “room” in London’s east end where she gets about town by bus.

The British actress, nominated for an Oscar in 2008 for her role as a woman with Alzheimer’s disease, keeps out of the usual celebrity circus, having always preferred to do things her way.

Her sheep breeding home in Wales, which she has owned since the 1970’s, with it’s corrugated roof and ramshackle doors, is a far cry from the extravagance and decadent lifestyle of Hollywood.

On a visit to her farm in an attempt persuade Julie to do a reprise of their famous movie, Don’t Look Now, Donald Sutherland was so cold he slept in his overcoat., and he came away amazed at finding a yard filled with chickens, ducks and cats.

The main problem, as far as Sutherland was concerned, was not the absence of toilet paper - Julie rips up newspapers for use instead - didn’t put him off, it was the lack of central heating. Julie wore heavy sweaters and huddled next to the Aga for warmth, then went to bed as soon as night fell to avoid the diving temperature.juliechristiehomewales.jpg

Donald high-tailed it back into town after just one night: “It was so cold in that house that I had to sleep in all my clothes including my overcoat, and I still wasn’t warm.”

Julie rents out her farm in Powys, Wales, and stays instead in one of the barns on her land, adapted into a home. “I always hang my washing up outside, or even on a pulley thing,” she volunteers. “It is a complete waste of energy to use dryers.”

No dryers and using torn up newspaper for toilet paper - this is going too far. She may be one of favorite mature women, but it sounds like the rumors of her being eccentric and reclusive to the point of being weird just might be true!

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Posted in Julie Christie, Laugh Zone, What The Hell?

Adventures Of Dame Helen Mirren

May 8th, 2008 by GiGi
Adventures Of Dame Helen Mirren

This is the first in a series of very funny videos poking fun at Helen Mirren and Judi Dench. It’s a little crude and you’ll love the part where Helen calls Kate Winslet Kat WinShit.

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Posted in Helen Mirren, Laugh Zone, Videos

Babushka Misses Her Chance For A Boy Toy

May 2nd, 2008 by GiGi
Babushka Misses Her Chance For A Boy Toy

The old babe in this video misses her chance for a dream boy toy. Not only is he hot, he drives a Mercedes (which qualifies him as a stud even if he looks like Danny DeVito).

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Posted in Boy-Toys, Laugh Zone, Old Babes In The News, Still Going Strong, Videos, What The Hell?

Martha Stewart Pre Prison To-Do List

April 21st, 2008 by GiGi

Hope you like my twisted sense of humor for Martha Stewart, one of the babes I love to hate. I found this funny to-do list on the net somewhere

martha stewart living

  • Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints.

  • Start marketing new “Martha Stewart Soap-on-a-Rope.”

  • Schedule hair and nails; think about going short-short and tres butch.

  • Begin preparations for inevitable jailhouse conversion to Islam.

  • Dump Omnimedia stock before word gets out about the verdict.

  • Cut deal with Bush administration in exchange for lucrative post-war Iraqi catering contract.

  • Send that nice judge a quilt handmade with $50 bills.

  • Berate domestic staffers while I still can.

  • Note to self: Next time, bury insider-trading memos in my all-natural recycling compost heap.

  • Shoot prosecuting attorneys and have them stuffed for throw pillows.

  • Accept offer to pose nude in Better Homes and Gardens.

  • Offer large reward for palatable crow recipe.

  • Start crocheting toilet-seat doilies, because that metal’s probably cold in the morning.

  • Cover paper trail leading to al-Qaeda.

  • Request a prison where the uniforms have vertical, not horizontal, stripes.

  • Test whether a little club soda and lemon juice can remove stains from a soul.

  • Possible strategy for appeal: Blame it all on Scott Peterson!

  • Bake a seven-layer white-chocolate cake with framboise ganache. Place file between layers. Freeze.

  • Start work on new book: Minimum Security With Maximum Flair.

  • Ask Rosie how to say “I’m not interested” in Lesbianese.

  • Remember… Outside: “And that’s a GOOD thing!” Inside: “Shit be da bomb, yo!”

  • Try to take that bitch Betty Crocker down with me.

  • Roll around in a huge friggin’ pile of money one last time before going off to jail.

  • Inform High Emperor that climate on this planet has changed; request transfer back to Bitchior.

  • Thwart prison rapists by sealing my vagina shut with a hot-glue gun.

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Posted in Laugh Zone, Martha Stewart

Will The Real Elvira Please Step Up

March 10th, 2008 by GiGi
Will The Real Elvira Please Step Up

Elvira makes a play for a boytoy in this very funny video. Elvira’s flirting skills are still in place and she certainly has the goods to seduce a much younger man

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Posted in Elvira, Laugh Zone, Still Going Strong, Videos