The blabbermouth who puts new meaning into the word “white trash” seems to love taking swipes at her fellow entertainers and offering tantalizing tidbits on her sex life.

It’s been half awhile since Tyra Banks fired Janice Dickinson from America’s Next Top Model, but the wound hell hath no fury for the classless Janice…….

• “I was on that show for five seasons, I made that show a hit!”
• “Can you imagine for five seasons sitting next to Miss Tyra Banks and listening to her go off…you could land a helicopter on her forehead.” ”She’s huge. She’s a big woman. I used to think she was a man. I used to look at her and think, ‘Something isn’t right here.”

Just to confirm her classless state, we found a few tidbits we thought we’d share….

• She claims to have had affairs with a string of celebrities, including Warren Beatty, Sylvester Stallone and Jack Nicholson.
• “I’ve slept with women, including supermodels, in the past. Everyone did. You’re away for a month working. What are you supposed to do? You play with each other. I don’t do it any more. I’m a mom, I don’t want people thinking I’m out there writhing about with women.”
• But I’d like to get into bed with the Queen – and her Corgis.
• Janice has referred to herself as “a gay man in a supermodel’s body,”
• She joined the judging panel for “America’s Next Top Model” in 2003. However, she was fired because of her stance against plus-sized models.
• Janice claims Mick Jagger has a small penis. Janice said that it was as small as an infant’s penis.
• Like many other celebrities, Janice is a cougar (Janice is 55 and she has a 32 year old boyfriend). She claims that he’s a good guy and she hopes that he’s faithful with her. Howard Stern asked if she’s worried about it being a Sandra Bullock situation. Janice said she hopes she doesn’t. She said she may have to have him followed to make sure he’s not doing what Jesse James was. Howard asked Janice if she’s able to keep up with her 32 year old sexually. She said she can. She has gone through menopause but she doesn’t need any lubricants. Howard said Robin claims the same thing. Janice said she’s juicy. Howard said Robin claims she doesn’t need any lube for anal either. Janice said she doesn’t either. (Apparently the world’s trashiest Supermodel doesn’t know that somethings are on a “need to know basis”)
• Howard asked Janice if she ever had a threesome. She said she has and she’s done it with two women and with two men. Howard asked what that’s like with two men. She said that she had someone that was so hot. She said it was with Rob Lowe. Janice said it was Rob and one of his buds. Janice said this was like 25 years ago and it was great.

As Alec Balwin says…..”Janice Dickinson is undereducated and over-medicated”

Technorati Tags: Janice Dickinson, gossip, Supermodel, sex, America’s Next Top Model, affairs, Warren Beatty, Sylvester Stallone, Jack Nicholson, plus-size, models, Mick Jagger, celebrities, cougar, Howard Stern, Sandra Bullock, Rob Lowe, Alec Balwin

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When you’re getting old, have completely fu…ked up your plastic surgery and need to cling to anything to keep yourself in the limelight, you’ll do just about anything. After she made a complete ass of herself on the soon to be forgotten “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” you’d have thought the networks would get wise.

I feel sick and this is one show that will be off my list….

Technorati Tags: cougar, reality show, cougar dating, boy toy, plastic surgery

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• You get a threatening note made up of letters cut from a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
• That little tell-tale slice of lemon in the dog’s water bowl.
• On her show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen over liquorice downspout and the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door.
• You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon rose petal and saffron demi-glace with pecan crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint fennel sauce.
• The unmistakable odor of potpourri follows you even after you’ve left the bathroom.
• You discover that every napkin in the house has been folded in the shape of a swan.
• No matter “where” you eat you discover your place setting always includes an oyster fork.
• Twice this week you’ve been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
• Your underwear drawer has been neatly organized by type and color.
• You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.
• You wake up one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.

Technorati Tags: funny, Martha Stewart, humor

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Is Matthew Cheating On Sarah Jessica Parker?

Star Magazine alleges Broderick had a liaison with the unnamed 25-year-old woman from November to February while Sarah was shooting the big screen film, Sex And The City.

Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed “Matty Cakes.”

I find it hard to believe that there is someone else out there who finds Broderick appealing enough to lay. Her nickname for him says it all!

Technorati Tags: actress, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, cheating, Star Magazine

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Sexy Suzanne manages to show us her private parts while selling one of her tacky dresses on HSN

Trust me you don’t want to see this unless you have a Love To Hate list too with Suzanne’s name on it…

Technorati Tags: Suzanne Somers

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Now I ask you anyone who would sleep with the nerd in this picture Matthew Broderick seems to have made an art out of looking like the guy we all teased in High School.

It’s a well know fact that Sarah Jessica Parker has a love-hate relationship with the media. She’s been bitching about the raw deal the media has given her in recent months. Is it any wonder? What woman would appear in public with someone dressed like this?

SJP apparently was devastated when she was voted the Unsexiest Woman Alive by Maxim magazine. Someone should give her an award for marrying the nerdiest guy in Hollywood.

Who the hell dresses this man. I’d like to think that Matthew dresses himself and didn’t get any help from his award winning actress wife of 11 years.
He must be a good lay!

Technorati Tags: Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, love, hate, relationship, Unsexiest Woman Alive, Maxim, award, Hollywood, award winning actress

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These are some of the reasons why I hate Martha Stewart:

• she doesn’t order take out pizza and has ordered it only once.
• she doesn’t own a microwave
• she obviously owns too many gardening tools
• she makes her own Christmas gifts -”Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone” (What happened to picking up a little something at WalMart?)
• she says her most glamorous friends are “interested in stain removal, how
  to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel.” (My friends are interested in the corns on their feet, how to do away with the iron and finding a towel that’s not stained with hair dye.)
• she lets the world think she’s America’s No. 1 WASP (She’s actually Catholic and Polish)
• Martha attendedGoogle’s National Sales Conference recently and proceeded to have founders, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, to help her make a batch of Cherry Mojitos. (Is business down for Google that they need to bring in the Queen of Domesticity to entertain their troops?)
• she was named one of America’s 25 most influential people by Time magazine. (The quality of the list is in question since they once named Rosie O’Donnell)

As the great one once said herself:

You know, in China they say, ‘The thinner the chopsticks, the higher the social status.’ Of course, I got the thinnest I could find…..that’s why people hate me.

On second thought rather than slap her across her snooty little face, I’d like to give her a kick in the ass.

Technorati Tags: Martha Stewart, humor, Google, Cherry Mojitos, Time magazine

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Another Ann Coulter non fan

Technorati Tags: Ann Coulter

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Monday, 9:00 a.m.

Hi Loretta,

This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.

By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I’m serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: I didn’t have time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle moulds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian craft store.

Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I’m wearing for breakfast. I’ll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I’ll be making. Hope my breakfast guests don’t stay too long — I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It’s a good thing.

Love,

Martha Stewart

P. S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold guaze. I soaked the guaze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.

Technorati Tags: humor, Martha Stewart

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On the heels of a ruling that struck down California’s laws against gay marriage, Ellen DeGeneres announced her plans to wed longtime girl-toy, Portia de Rossi. Ellen, 50, and her longtime love (since 2004 which can be “longtime” by Hollywood Standards), Portia who’s 35, made the announcement before Ellen’s cheering audience.

The California’s Supreme Court ruled that people have a fundamental “right to marry” the partner of their choosing – therefore the previous ban on gay marriage was ruled unconstitutional.

One key to their happiness, DeGeneres said last year, is that they learn from one another. “She’s taught me lessons about myself, and I feel like I’ve taught her,” said the TV host. “We’ve both changed and grown, and we just feel like, ‘Oh, okay, this is completion.’ ”

Seems to me Ellen had similar things to say about wierd Anne Heche at one time!

Technorati Tags: BoyToy, GirlToy, girl-toy

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