Dedicated To Mature Women & Older Women Younger Men Relationships

What is a ‘cougar relationship’?

Put quite simply, it is a relationship between an older woman and a younger man.

It seems there’s been an increase in this type of relationship over the last few years. But it is also something that has existed for a long time. It is often the older celebrity woman that gets noticed by the media when they have a relationship with a younger man. People like, Mae West, Mary Tyler Moore, Raquel Welsh and Susan Sarandon.

But what’s the attraction in a cougar relationship?

It has often been said that opposites attract, which is why men and women get together. Traditionally tough it has been the older man with a younger woman, usually not more than a few years between them. But why shouldn’t a man have a relationship with an older woman or indeed a woman have a relationship with a younger man. In societies nowadays, barriers are being broken down everywhere so why are cougar relationships still seen as unusual?

An estimate says that about 1/3rd of women aged 40 or over have dated younger men. So what’s the attraction for these women?

• Is it simply sexual, thinking that a younger man will have more stamina and satisfy them better?
• Is it a power thing, do these women enjoy having influence or a ‘mothering’ aspect over their partner?
• Is it simply female ‘trophy hunting’, are these younger men used as ‘trophy partners’. Maybe such women are trying to prove to themselves that they are still attractive and able to pull young virile men, possibly they have problems accepting their real age. Or is it simply that these women enjoy a loving successful relationship with a man who just happens to be their junior?

But what’s the attraction for the man? Does he see the woman as a ‘mother figure’? Does he see her as an older experienced woman; someone who will ‘teach’ him. Again, is it a ‘power thing’? does the guy see the wealthy, older woman as being powerful and feel that he will gain some power by being associated with her? Or could it simply be that the man is enjoying a loving relationship with a woman who just happens to be older?

Well, the answers are going to be as varied in number according to the number of such relationships. You see, each relationship is different and may involve many of the aspects mentioned above and maybe more. The point is, that such relationships should not be seen as unusual like they traditionally have been.

Yet there are problems with cougar relationships. Can such a relationship last as one partner gets older and the other has yet to reach middle age. Can such relationships bear the stress of having children. What if there are children already involved perhaps from previous relationships, especially if the children are older than the male partner!

Technorati Tags: cougar, relationship

Like it or not, we are still living in a male dominated society. Take a look at Aleta St. James, the lady who had two kids at the age of 57. A man at the same age fathering children wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow.

This same mind set can be applied when referring the older women dating a younger man. When a mature woman dates someone her age or older she is likely to be congratulated on her relationship. But if the guy is a younger man, it may be considered unacceptable and even scandalous.

It’s not unusual for the younger man dating an older women to brag about his relationship to his friends, but very often the relationship is kept hidden from his family. Many young men don’t appear to have the guts to tell their families. They believe that their family and in particular their parents are not ready for their older woman/younger man relationship.

Is it possible that society is bogged down by numbers and is completely overlooking the benefits of any relationship that gives the partners love and satisfaction? It is highly likely that the families of these May to December romances have a long way to come before the young men will feel confident enough to step up and declare their love and fascination with older women.

Technorati Tags: older women, younger man, mature woman, relationship

I received an email the other day with one of my surfers bitching about all the work entailed in getting signed up with EHarmony. (it’s like filling in an application to get into the CIA!)

Duh! If you’re expecting to find a date, a friend or a serious relationship, you need to wake up. A little effort is involved in the process. This is a job! You need to approach your search for a partner the same way you’d approach a search for a new job.

I know it would be great if we could order a new partner or mate like we place our take out orders at restaurants.

• I take one kind, considerate, humorous, caring lover please looking for a long term relationship
• Make him tall and athletic with abs to die for
• I’ll have a side of a large bank account
• Thanks, and oh, I’m kind of in a hurry so can you ask the chef to put in my order ASAP?

Attention to details, my friends, is the key. You online profile is your gateway to catching yourself an online relationships. The online dating sites such as EHarmony like many other dating sites, Friendfinder, Match.com, Date.com give you plenty of opportunities to catch some interest. They key is taking a little time to draft your “Heading” (after all this is what you potential date is going to see first) and write and rewrite that “Online Profile” to express yourself.

Most people expect that the 2 minutes they spend on submitting their profile will be enough to warrant some interest in their profile. You’re living in a dream world if you think a couple of minutes of your time will reap you any meaningful rewards.

I don’t care if you’re over 40 or over the hill, to find a date, a lover or a friend you need to go back to all those online profiles you have and write and rewrite until you’ve captured the essence of who you are and what you’re looking for……

Technorati Tags: find a date, relationship, lover, online dating, dating sites, online profiles

For WannaBe Cougars only……

If you’re thinking about breaking your own private glass ceiling and considering an affair with a younger man consider the following before you do:

• Great sex is an important part of any relationship, but you may decide that great abs are not as important as a lover who shares some of your life’s experiences.

• Be careful. What if you fall in love with your boy toy? He may be thinking about getting married and having a family. Chances are you’ve already been there, done that. This type of glitch in a relationship is nearly impossible to overcome and the possibility of your May to December romance won’t have a future

• You’re going to need to expand you horizons somewhat. More important than years on the planet are shared values, similar interests, and chemistry.

• Are you going to have a hard time dealing with disapproval that may come from you friends and family?

Technorati Tags: Cougars, affair, sex, relationship, boy toy, May to December, romance

If you’re thinking about a new relationship, especially may to december romance with a younger man, it’s time you started to get out there and feel young. Unfortunately as we get older, our instinct for knowing what suits suits us all too often gets lost

You know those expensive beautiful dresses that you bought 15 years ago, they may still fit (go girl!) and everyone knows that a expensive, classic outfit will last for years, however it’s time you bought some trendy upscale clothes that shows the “new you”. Behaving younger just won’t cut it.

Many of us tend to get stuck with the last look that we really understood and go on working it. We feel comfortable with the look, it hides our body flaws and though not at the height of fashion refuse to move out of the 80’s or 90’s.

Let’s face it, smocks, vest tops, neon colors and skinny jeans may be all the rage, but they probably should not be in your wardrobe. Your goal here is to give the world the impression that you’re a sophisticated woman. Dress like one.

Younger, trendy clothes doesn’t mean you’re looking for the same look as those hard bodied teens who insist on showing the world their navels. What is possibly more pitiful is middle-aged woman trying to remain young by wearing what the “kids” are wearing. What you don’t realize is that what they are really doing is pointing out, quite visibly, that you aren’t a kid any more. Trying to look 20 when you’re 45 will make you the butt of jokes, but there’s no reason that you can’t chop 10 years off your look with a fashion statement.

You also need to forget the idea that it’s okay to wear certain things when you’re a certain age. When I was 30 I didn’t have to read a fashion magazine to know what I wanted to wear: But most of us over 50 and over 40 as well, find this instinct fades as we age and takes with it that confidence that seems to be in the possession of younger women as they sashay into the room just knowing they’ve got it right.

Take those classic rags and donate them to Goodwill. You’re going to be amazed at just how young you’ll feel in a new outfit.

Lastly, if you really want to look younger, invest in a hairstyle overhaul. Modernizing that reliable haircut you’ve had for a while will take more years off you than a miniskirt. And you’ll keep your self-respect, too.

Technorati Tags: relationship, may to december romance, younger man, middle-aged, over 50, over 40

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Madonna and Guy Ritchie. Your old high school English teacher and… your best buddy?! Hey, it could happen. These days, if an older woman wants a baby, she can have one.

There will always be the Traditional Tina, scoping out an older fella who’s “on her maturity level” as she likes to think- and who’s willing to play provider. But what of the ever-growing population of footloose women with their crazy cradle-robbing ways? Is this another Maggie May, who, as Rod Stewart tells it, will “wreck your bed, and in the morning kick you in the head?” Or is she some lonely desperado, hoping to latch on to a kinder, gentler generation of men? Here are some insights as to why some women prefer to date younger guys. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Demi Moore, Madonna

Geena Davis Makes a Difference

A little know fact is that Academy Award winning actress, [tag]Geena Davis fronts the Women’s Sports Foundation campaign Geena Takes Aim in support of Title IX — an Act of Congress focusing on equality in sports opportunities and eventually expanded to prohibit gender discrimination in United States’ educational institutions.

In 2005, Geena Davis teamed up with the non-profit group Dads and Daughters to launch See Jane (seejane.org), a venture dedicated to balancing the number of male and female characters in children’s TV and movie programming. Her not-for-profit www.SeeJane.org did the largest study ever done of G-rated movies and found that 3 out of 4 characters are male — even today! SeeJane is currently undertaking a study of TV shows and will be doing a study of PG-13 movies soon.

“It sprang out of watching preschool kids’ programs with my daughter and noticing how imbalanced the ratio of male to female characters is, still, on shows. The ratio seemed to be 3-to-1 or 4-to-1, and the female character — usually there was one — would be very stereotyped,” Davis says. “So I started to think, what is the message we’re still sending to kids? That boys’ stories are more interesting, more prevalent and significant, and that girls, if they are there at all, are peripheral and acting stereotypically girlie.”

“I think it would be hard to argue that kids are better off if characters in movies and TV shows they watch are predominantly male,” Davis says. “For boys to see girls taking up half the space on the planet is a really good thing. And for girls to see themselves taking up half the space is a good thing.“

Technorati Tags: Academy Award, actress, [tag]Geena Davis, Women’s Sports Foundation, Dads and Daughters

It has often been said that opposites attract, which is why men and women get together. Traditionally though it has been the older man with a younger woman, usually not more than a few years between them.

But why shouldn’t a young man have a relationship with an [/tag]older woman[/tag] or indeed a woman have a relationship with a younger man. In societies nowadays, barriers are being broken down everywhere so why are cougar relationships still seen as unusual?

An estimate says that about 1/3rd of women aged 40 or over have dated younger men. So what’s the attraction for these women?

• Is it simply sexual, thinking that a younger man will have more stamina and satisfy them better?
• Is it a power thing, do these women enjoy having influence or a ‘mothering’ aspect over their partner? Is it simply female ‘trophy hunting’, are these younger men used as ‘trophy partners’.
• Are cougars are trying to prove to themselves that they are still attractive and able to pull young virile men,
• Do these older womenhave problems accepting their real age, and like their male counterparts are attempting to bring back their youth?
• Do these women enjoy a loving successful relationship with a man who just happens to be their junior?

But what’s the attraction for the man?

• Does he see the woman as a ‘mother figure’?
• Does he see her as an older experienced woman; someone who will ‘teach’ him.
• Again, is it a ‘power thing’? does the guy see the wealthy, older woman as being powerful and feel that he will gain some power by being associated with her?
• Or could it simply be that the man is enjoying a loving relationship with a woman who just happens to be older?

Technorati Tags: young man, cougar relationships, cougars, older women

We don’t need Hollywood to tell us that older women are sexy, but I found this cute article I thought you’d enjoy

Hollywood makes it official: Older women are sexy

By Bonnie Erbe

May I have the envelope, please? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the verdict is in and Hollywood has decided: Older women are officially declared sexy. At least that’s the media’s response to two major releases this holiday season. The media have ruled it so (and they always know, don’t they?) due to the success of “Something’s Gotta Give,” starring Diane Keaton, rejuvenating her career after a decade or two of semi-retirement, and “Calendar Girls,” starring Helen Mirren and Julie Walters - British actresses of a certain age.

In the former, Keaton plays a fabulously successful playwright in her 50s who dumps Keanu Reeves, a hunk of a younger lover, for Jack Nicholson, who plays a terminally single, senescent playboy. In the latter, a sweet group of polite British 40-to-60-something ladies pose nude (or almost) as a fund-raising stunt to drum up money for one of their cancer-stricken spouses.

For the longest time, stretch marks and wrinkles were beyond passe. They were verboten, terminators, as it were for women’s acting careers. Now (we can hope at least) they’re in vogue.

It’s about time the reel Hollywood caught up with the real Hollywood. In their private lives, older actresses are pairing up with younger male stars at unheard-of rates. Look at a sampling of Hollywood’s hottest couples: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher- she is 16 years his senior. Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake - he is 9 years younger than she. Then there’s 44-year-old Madonna with her director-spouse Guy Ritchie, 10 years her junior. There’s Julianne Moore, who trumps her mate, Bart Freundlich, by nine years.

Long gone is the time (1967 was the year) when “Mrs. Robinson” was new to the Hollywood lexicon and the idea of older woman with her “spring rooster” was shocking, jaw-dropping, and bizarre. Even into the early ’70s, the movie-going public was still incredulous when Burt Reynolds, then a major sex symbol (but God knows why) had a four-year romance with singer Dinah Shore, who was 20 years older.

But is this progress, or is it Botox? Are younger men just more accepting of white hair, yellowed teeth, wrinkles, and sagging skin? Or have Botox, hair dye, tooth bleach, and plastic surgery merely transformed 60-year-old women into 45-year-old look-alikes?

Novelist and columnist Amy Sohn makes a fabulous point on her Web site. “Women in my mother’s generation are supposed to be happy that there are more and more roles for middle-aged actresses, but there’s not much to applaud for when the actresses look like mutated freaks. When my parents see a movie and my dad admits a crush on the 52-year-old, nipped-and-tucked, female star, my mom’s not going to feel flattered. She’s going to feel majorly dissed - because until she pays the 20 grand to get the work done herself, she’ll never be able to compare.”

The question is valid: If middle-age and older actresses merely cut and paste themselves into looking younger, are they really leading us into a new era, or just reinvigorating ancient stereotypes?

While we are not yet riding the crest of a tsunami, the data tell us we’re moving forward. The Screen Actors Guild collects data on diversity in filmmaking. In 2001, the guild reports actresses landed 38 percent of all movie roles and actresses over the age of 40 landed 24 percent of all film roles. That, while women overall accounted for 51 percent of the U.S. population, and women over the age of 40 represent 22.6 percent of the population. In 1992, actresses secured 29 percent of total roles and women over the age of 40 landed a mere 9 percent.

Actress Rosanna Arquette released a documentary earlier this year called, “Searching for Deborah Winger” in which she interviewed 25 leading (or formerly leading) actresses including Jane Fonda, Whoopi Goldberg, Sharon Stone, and Vanessa Redgrave. They talked about the consequences of aging and trying to stay alive professionally in an industry that so worships youth. Said Whoopi Goldberg, “I’m being stalked by my butt. It’s gotten bigger since I hit 45 and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Ah, Whoopi! Lead us to truth, once again.

Technorati Tags: Hollywood, older women, article, sexy, Diane Keaton, Helen Mirren, Keanu Reeves, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Madonna, Julianne Moore, Rosanna Arquette

I found this great article on one of my favorite sexy older women, Susan Sarandon.

FROM BAD TO VERSE

“I could forgive a sexual slip-up but not if my man wrote poetry for his lover” says screen siren Susan Sarandon who considers a sexual betrayal not the worst thing that can happen to a relationship

By Siobhan Synnot

 

WOMEN would kill - or at least hire a plastic surgeon - to look like Susan Sarandon. But when asked for the secret of her enduring glamour, the actress rolls her eyes.

“It’s a mindset,” she said. “I had kids late, so that really helped me to stay younger longer in my head.

“You know, there are not that many people in Hollywood over 40 who haven’t had something done to their faces, so people in my age range are shrinking. Maybe that’s why I work a lot.”

In an industry that’s noted for its ageism, somehow Susan makes entering her sixties look like plain sailing.

“Certainly I didn’t find being 50 a problem. Turning 80, that’s going to be interesting,” she smiled.

In the past, she said the secret to being a sexy older woman was limiting carbs and lots of sex. When she is reminded of this, she laughs out loud.

“Well, it’s certainly not lots of carbs and limiting sex.”

But she added: “Really, I feel it’s the way you think, not the way you work out that is the deciding factor.

“I think people who say yes to life have something attractive about them, no matter what shape or age.”

Certainly Susan appears to have said yes to life, but also yes to good personal grooming. Her glossy, tousled reddish-brown hair and virtually non-existent make-up give the impression of an effortless elegance. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: article, sexy older women, Susan Sarandon, sexy older woman