Can I Smack Martha Stewart
June 21st, 2008 by GiGi
This is the toolshed I completed with Martha's instructions!
These are some of the reasons why I hate Martha Stewart:
- she doesn’t order take out pizza and has ordered it only once.
- she doesn’t own a microwave
- she obviously owns too many gardening tools
- she makes her own Christmas gifts -”Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone” (What happened to picking up a little something at WalMart?)
- she says her most glamorous friends are “interested in stain removal, how
to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel.” (My friends are interested in the corns on their feet, how to do away with the iron and finding a towel that’s not stained with hair dye.) - she lets the world think she’s America’s No. 1 WASP (She’s actually Catholic and Polish)
- Martha attendedGoogle’s National Sales Conference recently and proceeded to have founders, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, to help her make a batch of Cherry Mojitos. (Is business down for Google that they need to bring in the Queen of Domesticity to entertain their troops?)
- she was named one of America’s 25 most influential people by Time magazine. (The quality of the list is in question since they once named Rosie O’Donnell)
As the great one once said herself:
You know, in China they say, ‘The thinner the chopsticks, the higher the social status.’ Of course, I got the thinnest I could find…..that’s why people hate me.
On second thought rather than slap her across her snooty little face, I’d like to give her a kick in the ass.
Technorati Tags: Martha Stewart, humor, Google, Cherry Mojitos, Time magazine
